A prediction

So John McCain is, much to my own surprise, living up to his self-proclamation of being a “straight shooter,” calling out the GOP and especially Tea Party for fighting like a spoiled child. Here’s my prediction for what we’ll hear from McCain a couple of days from now:

“My friends, while the president and I strongly disagree on the subject of Obamacare, we are in agreement that the Republican party in general, and the Tea Party particularly, has behaved in a juvenile manner at best in the course of this tragic government shutdown. For that reason, the President, with the full support of the Senate Arms Committee, launched drone strikes earlier tonight on 34 of the Tea Party’s top officers, including the nefarious Ted Cruz. These men were dangerous extremists whose hatred of democracy and freedom was fueled by their zealous adherence to a twisted misinterpretation of their holy book, the Constitution. These men systematically deceived their own people, and were willing to sacrifice millions of their youth to injury or death in an attempt to hold our country hostage. But my friends, America does not negotiate with terrorists. We will not be blackmailed by religious extremists. And the world is a safer place today after the President’s decision to eliminate these men and the threat they posed to America though limited military intervention, which I fully support. Thank you very much, and God bless America.”


  1. shaesavoy · · Reply

    Chilling in its believability. Sharp insight here.

  2. Thanks. Just to clarify, this is totally a joke. And I don’t advocate the death of Tea Party Republicans; I’m juxtaposing their own War-on-Terror rhetoric against the actual situation (which, in terms of real harm to Americans, poses a significantly greater threat than al Qaida) in Washington D.C. This is probably all obvious, but, you know, it’s the internet.

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